Day 5 - Rules And Shap Pass

Left Or Right? There's A Rule For That

First a bit to say about our B&B last night. As we stood at the top of a very long, steep descent onto the A59 (having ground our way up to be presented with the grand view of the Ribble Valley) there was discussion between James and Matt as to whether we should turn right or left to find the B&B. Given that the maps showed it approximately 1/2 mile one side or the other, it was a crucial decision at this stage of the day. Finally, James had his way, and we decided to turn right. Matt hurtled off down the road, ending up way out in front of James and Joe. When the others arrived, they found a grinning Matt. James had been correct - the accommodation was indeed to the right of the turning. Right on the corner, so we didn't have to go any further.

Our greeting from 'mine host' was unusual, to say the least. "Turn your bike round so it doesn't mark the window." Not "Good evening, how was your trip?". And then the rules started. The late Glyn Charles once commented that Emsworth Sailing Club had no fewer than 51 signs dictating what should and should not be done. Well, Rose Cottage B&B beat this record easily. There were signs saying when we could and could not use the dining room, when we were allowed breakfast, what could be done with 'food in rooms' and so on. In fact, when James pulled back the covers on his bed, prepared to collapse gratefully into slumber, he commented that he half expected a sign to be there outlining what was and was not allowed in bed!

But we're mean - the accommodation was perfectly adequate, with a stonking breakfast this morning.

The Morning's Ride

Off we set into a misty but clearing morning, heading ever North and West via Garstang and Longridge. Matt commented that it was "Garstang 5", which James took to be the name of a 60's pop group he was reminiscing about. He turned out to be reading a road sign. Ribchester was very Roman - lots of museums etc., while James was confused as to why there were no derelict car plants in Longridge. Cathy put him right this evening- that was Longridge near Birmingham!

Lancaster turned out to be a very pretty university town, but we failed to find a coffee shop and pushed on to Kendal. The countryside continued to be really pretty, with gently rolling roads - no massive hills to be negotiated.

In need of morning tea, we stumbled upon the village shop in Nether Kellet, where we were soon engaged in conversation with the proprietor, Glyn. While munching on rolls, pork pies and flapjack and supping tea, we were regaled with the tales of cyclists who had given up at this very spot- but mainly because the weather was so bad (allegedly). As Matt was commenting on his painful knee, Glyn said "Here's the chap who can help - he's the local doctor". The aforementioned chap took a long range look at the joint and said "Hmm... looks like there's fluid on that." and walked off. Doctors - pah. Meanwhile Glyn's 5 year old grandson came wandering in with a toy bear which played Christmas Carols. Surely it's too early for Christmas Carols! Glyn was a great chap, and when he heard we were raising money for H4H, gave us a £10 donation, which was an unexpected benefit.

Lunch

Today we had lunch on time! We negotiated the A6 approaching Kendal, and then entered via a great country lane, winding through tiny villages. On entering a busy Kendal, we found a pub and Joe and James were soon(ish) munching on egg mayonnaise baguettes. Matt - being Matt - ordered onion rings and a tuna sandwich. Not to mention the little 'isotonic' half of bitter.

Shap Pass

This was all good fuel for the ascent of Shap - a 6 mile climb to the1400 foot summit of Shap Pass. Actually, while it was long, it was a pretty gentle climb and we were soon at the top, congratulating ourselves on our elite athlete status. In direct contrast to our overnight host's comments on the A6, we found the road to be really quiet, which was a pleasant surprise. (She also said "You'll never get to Gretna today- it's too far." Thanks a bunch.)

Joe and Matt headed off from the summit of Shap, leaving James arranging for his cycling leggings to come up to Largs with Clare (he's getting worried about the weather further North). Just as he was about to leave, a girl arrived in a car and asked if he'd like to be interviewed for the local press. Being the shy and retiring type, he said "Of course", and was then pumped for his opinion about a proposed camping barn to be constructed nearby. Watch upcoming editions of the Westmoreland Express for his picture and views!

Gretna

After another long day, we finally arrived at the Gretna Hall Hotel to find Cathy ensconced and at least two weddings taking place. Supper was had in the bar- yet more curry - while we watched the wedding party enjoying themselves around us. James commented that some of the young ladies looked like newly born foals trying to walk, as they tottered around on dangerously tall heels!

And Tomorrow?

Tomorrow we're off to Largs! Only 118 miles. Will our backsides hold out?

Day 4 - Alison Saves The Day

Shopping Orders

Foolishly, Cathy asked the team if they needed anything from the shops today. James asked for a new battery for his bike computer (he's riding without instrumentation at the moment), while Matt asked for prunes. Therefore tomorrow hopefully James will know how far he's gone, while Matt will have gone!

Beautiful Border country

Initial progress was fast, as we seemed to dip in and out of Wales - evidenced by the high incidence of dyslexic sign-writers. The scenery was fantastic and the pace quite fast. Unfortunately, James had to call a drug stop early in the ride as his left knee was starting to hurt. A quick Ibuprofen was popped, which didn't seem to do a lot - so he adopted the approach of telling himself to just man up and get on with it, and telling the pain to take itself elsewhere. It retreated a bit, ending up sulking in the corner, only to reappear on and off during the day.

Morning coffee was had at a Shire Horse centre - though James caused some consternation by pointing to the Shetland pony grazing next to the cafe and asking for his money back under the trades descriptions act. We then stopped for a very nice lunch - BLT sandwiches for at least two of team BLT - at the Delamere Station Cafe. What was nicer was that Cathy managed to join us. Actually surprising, as she'd gone off for a walk in the Delamere forest park, wandered off the track and got thoroughly lost!

As we progressed towards Runcorn, we were amazed by the beauty of the Cheshire countryside - very rich greens and gently rolling hills. Matt kept getting excited by the fact that we were near 'WAG country'. Something to do with football, apparently.

Runcorn And The Mersey

Our major challenge was to traverse Runcorn and find the Mersey Bridge. This proved problematic, as although there were cycle routes marked, they didn't really indicate where they were going. We stopped a nice lady on a bike who immediately uttered those dread words to anyone who asks for directions (apart from "If I were going there, I wouldn't start from here" of course) which were "Right, turn round...". Alison turned out to be brilliant. She pointed out that were were heading for one of the 'less nice' areas of Runcorn, said we could follow her and she'd show us the first stages of the way. Thanks to her directions, we finally managed to cross the Mersey on what turned out to be, on closer inspection, a rather rusty bridge.

Thunder, Lightning And Screaming Girls

As we crossed the river, the black clouds which had been following us turned into a full-fledged thunderstorm, with matching rain. Thus it was that as we passed one of the local schools in St. Helens we were treated to a mass girly screaming from the outpouring pupils as lightning flashed around us. By now we were fully wet and cold, and - yet again - sort of just wanting to get to the end of the day.

It took quite some time to get through the built up area. Cycling in traffic is always a challenge, it's usually a matter of being assertive (Joe was worried with James's description of 'combative' cycling) and making sure that the drivers know that you're going there! However, we finally were out of the conurbation and en route for the Ribble Valley.

Finally, after only one unintended detour, we crested a long, steep hill to be presented with a panorama of the Ribble Valley bathed in a thunderstorm-cleared evening light. An even longer and steeper descent brought us to Rose Cottage B&B not a moment too soon.

Off to Gretna and Scotland tomorrow!

Daily Statistics:

Miles ridden: 95 miles

Thunderstorms endured: 1

Bridges Crossed: 1

Counties Crossed: No idea.

Day 3 - The Baron Saves The Day

Why No Blog?

Sorry for the delay - no reliable internet connection was available in Oswestry.

The Best B&B By Far

Our late arrival at Parkways at St. Arvans last night was tempered by the amazing hospitality we received from Elizabeth and Ron. No sooner had we arrived than Ron had his hose out ready for us to wash the bikes off, while Elizabeth was phoning the pub to check the closing time for the kitchen. Bad news - 8pm, so we had to hoof it over there for what turned out to be a very nice meal. Curry yet again for James, keeping that carbohydrate intake up! Meanwhile, Elizabeth had offered to do a wash for us, so lots of smelly lycra was dispatched machine-wards.

Breakfast was 0730 - in fact, any time we wanted it. James tried to call Ron's bluff by asking for an 0530 sitting, but Ron raised with a counter-offer of 0500. Victory to Ron, and 0730 it was.

On departure, we tried to give Elizabeth and Ron a £10 tip, but they refused and insisted it should go to H4H instead.

Up The Chepstow Valley And Beyond

The Chepstow valley was - as predicted - very impressive. Unfortunately, we couldn't make use of any of Andrew Blake's newly (maybe even for us) constructed view points, as time pressed on. Andrew is a friend of James, and is the local Area Of Outstanding Natural Beauty manager.

At the top of the valley, we continued up the Golden Valley, stopping off at The Mill for morning coffee. As we chatted to the staff there, they said that they would 'shout' us the coffee and cakes - so another £10 (which it would have costed us) is due to be added to the fund. Thanks girls!

Short Steep Cuts

Matt had a cunning plan to shorten the day (this being the longest day of the trip with 128 miles plotted), by going East at Dorston to a newly-discovered bridge, over a hill into the next valley, and rejoining the route having saved around 5 miles. Joe pointed out that the hill had two arrows on it on his OS map - indicating 'very steep'. Yes, 25%. Very similar to Cardiac Hill at Stoughton for those who know it. However, the view on the other side was spectacular - the Welsh Marches extending across in front of us in verdant shades of green. Matt was desperate to visit Arthur's Stone (a rock? who knows), but we dissuaded him.

When Are We Having Lunch, Dad?

Now things got interesting. We'd forgone the opportunity to eat in Dorston, as it was 'too early'. We were now presented with two problems:

• Few villages and hamlets we were going through had no pubs
• The few pubs there were, were closed.

Village after village, pub after pub. The troops were getting hypoglycaemic (and couldn't even spell it). Finally, at Linge we found a pub which was shut but - praise the Lord - the church was open for "Quiet contemplation with DIY refreshments." We all spotted this, and decided we needed to commune with the Lord and eat His biscuits. Having snaffled the church biscuits, topped up with (non-holy) water and left a donation, we set off with low expectations of ever eating again. Finally, James and Matt spotted the fabled 'crossed knife and fork of rescue' on a tourist sign, and we arrived at the Beef Baron pub in Bicknell. Hearty sandwiches and a (medicinal) Guinness for Matt followed, and we were finally able to continue.

Not Today, Colin

We had hoped to visit Colin Lloyd - a friend/customer of James's - who lives just West of Shrewsbury. However, our ETA at Oswestry was already around 1830, so James decided to call ahead to cancel, thus saving 1/2 hour of socialising and another 5 miles of detour. A pity as it would have been nice to call in.

James's Favourite Shop

We were now approaching familiar territory for those lucky people who have made the trip to Pwllheli in North West Wales for sailing events. The route goes via Telford and Shrewsbury, up towards Oswestry before turning off at a village called Knockin. Knocking has a shop which is - of course - called the Knockin shop. So Matt and Joe were informed of this interesting fact as the day progressed. They are wondering why they ever asked James along.

The Weather

Having had a forecast of gales, wind and (given half a chance) plagues of locusts, we actually had great weather for most of the day - bright sunshine and strong winds from behind. However, from around 10 miles SW of Shrewsury it started to rain, and we were soon just wanting to arrive. Around 1700 it really started raining and we started getting seriously wet! Morale slumped a bit when we got within 2 miles of destination to find that Matt's GPS was lying and it was actually 5 miles in the driving rain (and dusk). Then Joe got a puncture 1 mile out. We finally arrived at 1930 - glad to put a stop to things for the day.

Overall Feeling

A long day, but fantastic scenery along the way!

Statistics

Money raised: £20

Distance covered: 121 miles

Saddlebags dropped: 1 (from Matt's bike)

Day 2 - A Tale Of 5 Counties And 2 Countries

Today was quite tough, and things did not augure well this morning, as we sorted out the bikes in the spitting rain. Matt and Joe put jackets on, while James held out, as he didn't want the faff of getting hot and then having to sort out stowage again (his jacket is too big to go in a pocket, so is being kept on his crossbar). The other slight hiccup was that the B&B didn't do breakfast before 0800, so we hit the road at 0900, which is a bit late really.

Luckily the rain eased off fairly quickly, but not before we'd got soaked feet and backsides (a side-effect of riding road bikes with no mudguards). However, the route took us down a lot of narrow, up/down/up/down lanes which were quite sapping. The good news according to route-meister Matt was that these were taking us on the most direct line!

We reached Taunton - at 55 miles - around 1300, and started the hunt for a lunch venue. After considering and rejecting one very busy pub, we had the genius idea of going to the local garden centre (which was on the route), where they had a 5 star restaurant. Don't get too excited - 5 stars for food hygiene, and we don't know if it's out of 10! However, having wheeled (James wanted to ride, but was told to behave by the others) the bikes through the centre, we tucked into a very nice pasta bake followed by eclaires and bananas. After a bottle refill from the very friendly staff we were off.

Oh yes, just before lunch, we nearly had a full-on Tour De France wipeout as a group of local racing cyclists pulled out in front of us as we reached the bottom of a hill (doing around 30mph), and promptly (tried to) turn right. A near thing, but no-one came off, luckily. Not sure what they were thinking! This was followed by James's first puncture (in fact the first at all with his road bike - the tube was welded to the inside of the tyre, it had been in so long).

After Taunton it was North to the Somerset Levels, over a tiny hill (apparently the Quantocks, we think - but this map sheet's disintegrated in the rain) then more Levels, past Cheddar Gorge and past Bristol, over the Severn Bridge (old one) and up to Chepstow. A long day, arriving at 1930 to find that the pub stopped cooking at 2000 so all a bit of a rush.

Daily statistics

Miles ridden: 128 (despite Matt saying it was 121)

Calories expended: 7,500

Calories consumed: lots!

Tractors overtaken: 1

Punctures: 1

Near wipeouts: 1

Counties: Devon, South Somerset, North Somerset, Avon (that's a county isn't it?) Monmouthshire

Countries: England, Wales

Strangest sign: "Blogg's Garage"

Wives Worried: 1 (Helen noting that the GPS tracker stopped right outside Chepstow hospital, calling James and finding his phone being answered by Matt).

Plan For Tomorrow

Up earlier and start the Sudocrem treatment!

Day 1 - Gentlemen Don't Go To Windward

Having gone to the sound of wind rattling the halyards on the boats in the harbour, we awoke to a continuing Easterly wind - not good when one is riding from Land's End. Given the location of Land's End, there is only one way to go, of course - you've guessed it, East. And as all sailors know, Gentlemen Don't Go To Windward.

Unfortunately, we had no choice, of course.

Land's End was revealed as a rather dreary place (it was James's first visit, so he had no previous experience), which was - erm - closed. On arrival at 0800, we found that absolutely nothing was open - including the toilets (which was important to some of the team). As we were setting up , two Thrifty vans turned up, loaded to the gunwhales with bikes. The occupants introduced themselves, and revealed that they were off on a 14 day LEJOG - with their first stop in Camelford. Lightweights.

As we cycled down to the famous sign, it started to rain. Great. A couple of photos by Cathy, and then it came to the point that we really just had to get cycling. For the first mile of so, James found it hard to get a rhythm, but we soon settled in.

We had a rendezvous arranged with Joe's cousin Tom, at a cafe called the Jam Pot in Gwithian. A nice cup of coffee and rock cakes followed, and then we were off again. But not before Jess had taken a photo of us with our 'Hate Jams' shirt backs, next to the Jam Pot Cafe.

We made good progress, and on passing Newquay stopped for a quick drink and munch break. Joe looked down and found a wallet in the hedgerow. Luckily it had a name and address in it, and we gave its owner, Squadron Leader Thomas (Retired), a call. On saying that we were heading East from Newquay to Okehampton, he said we were passing his house so we could drop it in, and did we prefer red or white wine! Seeing as we were cycling (and I hadn't brought my Camelpak), we declined the wine, but he did give us £10 which will be added to the sponsorship!

He turned out to be in his 80s, and was delighted that his RAFA card was still in the wallet

After a good lunch (sardines for Matt and James, bangers and mash for Joe), off we set for Camelford. Here occurred the first - self-inflicted - damage of the trip when Joe decided to bunnyhop onto the kerb to avoid the traffic. Of course, not being on a mountain bike, he ended up with a snakebite puncture. Still, we did get to meet 13 year old Ainsley Martin, who engaged us in conversation as we were fixing it. Just before we left, he commented that "I've heard some people have GPSs on their bikes - tch!". Hasty covering up of ours!

After this, the sun came out, and we were treated to lovely views - and we finally stopped seeing signs for Redruth!

The rest of the afternoon consisted of a cream tea, and a series of loooong steep hills which started sapping our reserves, but we finally arrived at Okehampton at 1810, after 108 miles and (according to Matt's GPS) 7300 calories burnt.

Anyway, I'm afraid everyone else is standing up and walking out as I type, as they (we) want to eat ASAP!

So... in summary:

Miles: 108

Calories: 7300

Good Turns Done: 1

Self Inflicted Damage: 1

Wierd Signs: 1 ("Painter And Decorator And Funeral Director" interesting cross-marketing opportunities).

That's all folks until tomorrow!

Poised Like Tightly Coiled... Pieces Of String

No They Have Not Been Relaxing
The team is now gathered in Flushing, Cornwall, ready to tackle the challenge. My comment that my colleagues were well rested while I was slaving away was misplaced, it appears. Joe has been running around Cornwall, fitting out a flat, visiting elderly relatives, eating out every night (and professing to only want to eat in), and being 'busy'.

Matt has been cruising the Balaerics and visiting roly-poly anchorages (which, for the non-sailors means no sleep). Coupled with an annoying squeak in the boat which only materialised at night, he has arrived sleep-deprived. The squeak only at the moment when he was dropping off to sleep. There was the 'squeak, squeak' from somewhere. Much hunting narrowed the location down to an ill-fitting joint in the aft cabin. Out came the hacksaw to 'relieve the stress' on the joint. Back to bed, problem solved. Squeak, squeak. And so the week progressed. A vandalised boat which still squeaked. Coupled with a photo-shoot for Elinda (the beautiful 74' boat he'd been managing the refit for) and a slightly erratic Greek crew, he was not that rested when he arrived at home at 0300 today.

Arrivals
Matt and I came down by train from Emsworth to Truro via Havant, Guildford and Reading. From Reading, the train was completely full and we only got seats by being imaginitive with the 'reserved' signs on the free seats - assuming that labels saying 'Paddington To Penzance' on empty seats meant a no-show which we could snaffle.

Coincidences And People In Strange Places
Coincidence 1
Amazingly, we start of quite well on this front. I bought a copy of New Scientist to read on the train - on the assumption that it impresses people when they see me reading it instead of The Sun. I was happily reading a very interesting article on research indicating that water at 6000 degrees centigrade and high pressure becomes ionic and thus conductive - leading to the moons of Jupiter (or was it Saturn) having a different magnetic field to the Earth. As I was perusing this, I noticed that it was sourced from a professor Jeremy Bloxham of Harvard. Only the Jeremy Bloxham who grew up in Emsworth (and Anne Lawson's brother)!

Coincidence 2
Being the noble sort of chaps we are, Matt and I offered our seats to an elderly lady who joined the train in Exeter. On chatting to her, it turned out that she lives just north of Wellington in New Zealand, and knows Clive Cameron who worked with Helen while on a practice swap. He hails from Waikani, where she ran the local pharmacy. Oh, the stories of their 6 (yes, six) boys we recounted.

Sponsorship!
We have our first commercial sponsor! As we arrived at the house, Joe was greeted by friend Mandy Owens proffering a tube of special cream for those sore muscles. So now we have our own tube of Joint Easy rosemary, ginger & frankincense balm- 100% organic. All provided by Inlight Organic Skin Care!

Real-Time Position Updates
I spent most of the journey setting up a link to GPS Location. This website will take a feed from my mobile phone, with our position updated approximately every minute. That is, if the battery does not run down or the phone does not burn a hole in my pocket (have you felt how hot a smartphone gets when processing GPS updates and uploading to a website?). To watch our progress, log in to the above site with username of jameslavery and password of jamesgps2010, and select the live tab. Pick Track 1, and it should show where we are. If we seem to be at a standstill, then there's probably a pub in the vicinity.

The Plan For Tomorrow
Up at 0530, breakfast, on road for 0700, arrive Land's End 0800, off by 0830 in our new Team Marmite shirts - watch this space for the photo!

Addendum - A Statement From Matt And James

We may be sharing a hotel room, but we love our wives dearly. We will be issuing no further statements.

The Day Before Heading West

The Last Day At Work While Others Holiday
A manic day at work, getting everything as ready as possible before leaving for a week - we all know what that's like. Of course, those from the office know even more what the last week's been like - very busy, to say the least.

My mood wasn't particularly helped by the text I got from Matt at around 5pm, saying "Sitting in a bar on the beach, waiting for the car to the airport." Yes, Matt's had the last week off, while I've been slaving away. Actually, Joe's been off too - so I'm going to be turning up knackered, while they're sleekly rested athletes. Or something like that, I'm sure.

A bit worried about the lack of preparation - haven't ridden for two weeks, since the 80 mile training ride to Dummer.

Final Preparations
Still, being at work provided a good opportunity to print off the entire route at 1:50,000 scale. Quite impressive and frightening. Each day is between 9 and 13 sheets of A4. Very interesting to see the detail of where we're going, and the different terrain - and, of course, the location of those PH symbols for a little light refreshment.

It's interesting the effect such a stack of maps has on some people. Tom muttered, "How sad". Jess said "Oh great - let's play 110 sheet pickup!", but then revealed her numerically obsessive self by settling down to number all the sheets to mitigate the effect of a 110 sheet pickup. Things were slowed down by her need to make sure each pair of adjacent sheets actually married up. And writing "woop woop half way" on the appropriate sheet. And drawing Nessy (sic) on Loch Ness.

Catching the train tomorrow morning, at the leisurely time of 1026 from Emsworth - joined by my tanned compatriot. More to come, hopefully in the next few days.