James's Last Post

How Hard Was It?
We knew it would be tough, and it was. 9 days averaging 110 miles a day was not easy, but was achievable. The main feature was the relentlessness of the days. Up early and on the bike for 0830. Ride 50-60 miles and stop for lunch. Start again after about an hour's break knowing that we'd be riding until around 7pm. While leg muscles needed to be fit it was also, as Matt put it, the "muscle between the ears" which also needed exercising. This was especially true on around day 5 when we still had "Another 4 days of this" to go!

Was It Fun?
Undoubtedly - yes. The feeling of achievement at the end of each day was great - and the feeling at the end of day 9 was fantastic. While bits of me hurt at times, pushing on and making it to the end was a great feeling.

What amazed me was the beauty of the countryside as it slowly changed from Devon and Cornwall to the Somerset Flats through the Welsh Borders and up to Scotland. We'd always expected Scotland to be beautiful, but the hidden surprises around Cheshire and Lancashire were great. We also met some very kind people along the way - Alison who showed us the way to the bridge in Runcorn, for example.

Would I Do It Again?
Ask me in a few weeks - when I want to look at a bike again. Maybe another challenge awaits.

I Couldn't Have Done It Without...
First of all I must say a huge thank-you to Matt and Joe for accepting me into their team, and especially Matt for having the initial idea and doing all the planning. Without your work Matt, this wouldn't have happened - thank you.

Of course, we definitely couldn't have done the trip without the amazing support of Cathy who lugged our bags up the country in the car, phoned ahead to accommodation, sweet-talked washing facilities from proprietors and was always brilliantly supportive. With Clare arriving in Largs our support team was doubled and the encouragement more than doubled. Thank you both for all your help.

First and Last Post from Matt

We finished! - photo to prove we got to John O'Groats - so even if it was the sign man's day off and he had taken the sign with him, we know that those are the Orkneys in the background so we had made the complete end to end. (there are other issues here but I will leave that to some one else to explain!)

9 days was relentless, but as we proved it was possible if at times painful, not something you would want to too often but occasionally its good to stretch the limits.

We all owe a very special note of thanks to Cathy, who was relentlessly cheerful when we were not, organised when we were falling apart at the seams and patient to a fault while we grumbled and groaned. And how did we repay this? We gave her the the day off to walk up Ben Nevis in the pouring rain with Clare, surely there can be no greater reward than aching limbs and being soaked to the skin? But seriously,and its a much abused phrase but it does ring true - we could not have done it with out you so very many thanks.

Things to remember?

Devon has as many hills as Cornwall, the Somerset flats are not nearly wide enough, cream teas can have too much cream, the Severn Bridge is longer than you think, the Welsh Marches - forgotten England - must go back again, Lancashire in the sun will stun even the most cynical, Shap is a piece of cake - wait till you get to Drumadochit, evening sun in Largs, brooding lochs and ferries in the wrong places, deep, deep Loch Awe, legs feel like tenderised meat and there is still 30 miles to go, can it rain any harder? sun, black clouds,heather on the Caledonian Canal; random contributions for H4H from the most un-expected quarters, how do you pronounce Drumandochit? the meal at Tain, who says its brutal beyond the Dornoch Bridge? the last miles and 3 extra hills, Cathy's grin - and patient wives. Very special memories

If non of this make sense we can spend hours explaining after a wee dram!

TEAM BLT LEJOG - Joe's final musings

Well we have all arrived back in Emsworth save and sound. Since my last blog post, we have ridden a further two days and James will post the details of the rides elsewhere.

My memories of the event include lots of different emotions.

Riding - the days I found most difficult were the ones with steep hills and rain. My best days were the ones with lots of rolling hills and sunny spells. Luckily all the hills were rideable although there was one hill in Scotland where we all had to stop half way up just after lunch at the Loch Ness Inn.

The Road surfaces - some local authorities need to spend more money on tarmac - East Ayrshire was very bad with a surface resembling the bumpy pavement next to a pedestrian crossing to help visually impaired people.

Lorry drivers - all very patient. Thank you.

Bus Drivers - all very good bar one - you are lucky we did't get you registration number!

Car drivers - most were good but a few were truly dangerous generally as they thought two feet between their car and your bike was plenty of room. It isn't at any time but particularly if the car is going at 70 mph!

The Scenery - England, Wales and Scotland - we do live in such a beautiful country. Cycling was the way to see it, smell it and really enjoy it.

The People - we met so many lovely people on the way - James has mentioned many of them in his blog. From the B&B proprietors to the cafe waitors, waitresses and shopkeepers to just people who stopped to talk to us. They were all so very kind and helpful to three middle aged men in lycra.

Matt and James - for keeping me going when the riding got tough for me - ie on steep hills.

Matt - for planning such a beautiful route well away from major roads.

Cathy - for being a fantastic support crew and wife.

Clare - for her incredible positive attitude when she joined us in Largs that helped pep us all up when we were getting a bit weary after five days!

Mandi Owens for the Cemon Homeopathics joint cream - a life saver.

All the people who sent messages of support ever day by text or by email. Especially, my cousin Tom for the endless supply of rude jokes.

And finally, a special thank you to all the donors who have helped us raise over £8,000 for Help for Heroes. You made all the pain and suffering worthwhile.

Yes - overall I did enjoy it. Would I do it again? Well let's just say that the most memorable moment for me was coming over the top of the final hill and seeing John O'Groats bathed in glorious sunshine with the Orkneys in the back ground and knowing that there were no more hills to climb!

Anyone thinking of doing LEJOG, speak to me first.

Joe

Day 9 - Tain To John O'Groats Via Duncansby Head

The Day’s Ride
Willie and Dylis made us very welcome at Creagh Dhu Guest House the previous night in Tain - even taking the trouble to book us a table at the only eatery in town which seemed to have space. As they were going there too, we had to be on best behaviour!

Setting off on Sunday morning, we were definitely all feeling the effects of 8 days' riding. As we went up the first hill out of the guest house, our legs felt 'on empty'. While this was normal most mornings, it took longer for them to 'fill up' as we warmed up.

We stocked up with sandwiches at the local Co-Op, as we weren't sure whether there would be anywhere open on a Sunday at the mid-point of the ride, and then headed North on the final day's ride. The route took us along the coast, with the North Sea to the right and the open moorland to the left. As we went out of Helmsdale (I think), Matt commented that this was 'the last hill' to John O'Groats. How wrong he was! While the road was mainly flat, there were still pretty big hills to come, and in our 'last day' state, they were not appreciated.

We found a pub/cafe open for coffee - and Matt nearly added some 'extras' to his, as it also had an extensive range of whiskies - but he managed to restrain himself.

We decided to have lunch at Berriedale -having enjoyed an eye-watering descent down the winding, steep road into the village. Matt recorded 48mph, while James (with no working speedo) didn't go as fast but certainly frightened himself. Joe was a bit more sensible (allegedly). At the bottom, we discussed where to have lunch, at which point James stated pointedly that he was not going to eat at the bottom of a hill, as this meant having to start off going up it as our immediate post-prandial activity. Hence we slogged up the hill out of the village, round two hairpins, and over several false crests to finally get to the top. Once there, we hopped over the other side of a dry stone wall to eat our sandwiches enjoying the view over the North Sea.

After lunch we continued on towards Wick, but before then there was yet another very long hill -again with false crests - which went on for at least 1.5 miles; we finally go to the top and had a quick rest before continuing.

Wick seemed to take ages to arrive, but it finally did and we found Morag's Coffee Shop for a rejuvenating hot chocolate, coffee, tea and cakes. While we were there, the girls arrived but as soon as they got to the tea shop, we needed to head off again on our quest. We really wanted to just get this thing finished.

As we neared John O'Groats, we started to wonder whether the girls were going to get there before us, and Matt was just reaching for his phone to suggest that they hurry up a bit, when frantic hooting behind us announced their arrival and they shot off ahead.

Now, Matt had plotted our route to Duncansby Head, which is the furthest NE point in mainland Scotland, so we turned right on the outskirts of John O'Groats, and headed off for the 2 miles out to the headland - including a couple of descents and, you've guessed it, hills. The weather was absolutely glorious, with clear views of the Orkneys, and the view from Duncansby Head was even better. The only problem was that there were no Cathy and Clare. A phone call from Matt to Clare revealed that they were "At the sign in John O'Groats"! It turns out that 'the sign' is not at the furthest point at all, but in the town. Lots of mutterings like "More like Land's End to Somewhere Not Quite At The Other End In Fact Might As Well Make It Inverness" from James, while Joe logically pointed out that if we'd been meant to go to Duncansby Head, the trip would be called "Land's End To Duncansby Head". He had a point!

We finally arrived at the appointed location at the harbour in John O'Groats at 1615, to find Clare and Cathy waiting with a bottle of Champagne, glasses and nibbles. We'd made it! We had managed to cycle the length of the country in 9 days.

All we needed now was to have our photos taken by the sign. Ah, there was no sign - the 'man with the sign' had left with his sign (“It’s my sign, and I’m taking it home”). In fact it turned out later that he hadn't been there all day! Luckily we found another sign and the necessary happy photos were taken. This was after Clare had risked starting a fight when she told a group of large bikers who were hogging the sign that they should "Make way for some chaps who've done it properly, unlike you!". Luckily they had a sense of humour -actually they were very nice.

Now all we needed to do was get changed out of the lycra, load the bikes and drive to Inverness.

The drive to Inverness was a revelation to us - it illustrated just how far we'd been cycling. Bearing in mind that this was the shortest day of the ride, it still took us a good 1.5 hours or more to get back to Tain, and this was with Joe driving, erm, not slowly. We kept noticing how far back along the route various landmarks (like our lunch stop) were, and how long and steep the hills were. Various comments of “Did we really cycle up that hill non-stop?” were made.

Anyway, we finally got to the Premier Inn at Inverness, where Cathy and Clare had previously dropped off the bags, and enjoyed a shower followed by a meal consisting of whatever we wanted –no carbohydrate loading! This was followed by a grateful sinking into bed with the glorious prospect of not having to cycle anywhere tomorrow.

Day’s Facts
Distance ridden: 89.5 miles
Start time: 0845
End time: 1615
Strange signs seen: “Whale Disentanglement Unit” on van which passed us. Now that’s an interesting chat-up line.
Days to go: None!

Thoughts Over A Beer
In the pub, that evening, we had a chance to look back over the trip and reflect on some of the highlights and significant features of the ride.

What was remarkable was that we’d had very few problems – only two punctures (discounting Joe’s self-inflicted one), no mechanical problems and no crashes. The lack of mechanical problems was especially surprising given that some of the roads – particularly in Ayrshire – were of appalling quality, giving a bone and bike-shaking ride. On a couple of occasions James nearly bit his tongue going over some of the bumps!

We’d seen some amazing countryside and ridden some great country roads – all a testament to Matt’s route planning which aimed to avoid main roads as much as possible. We’d only really gone through one urban area – around the Mersey – and even then the Cheshire and Lancashire countryside either side were a revelation.

The B&B’s we’d stayed in could be described as ‘varied’, but the welcome in many was brilliant. After much discussion, we decided that Cuilcheanna House (www.cuilcheanna.co.uk) on Loch Linnhe was the best, but closely followed by Parkfield 7 at Chepstow (the brilliant Elizabeth and Ron) and Broome Lodge (run by Holly and brother while their parents were away) in Largs.

And Finally
This is my last blog for the ride – I hope it’s given anyone interested an idea of the general happenings on the days’ rides. Matt, Joe and I will be putting our more personal reflections on the ride in separate entries shortly (in fact I think Joe’s beaten me to it).

And Really Finally
Thank you to everyone who has donated to Help For Heroes in support of this ride – we’ve now raised over £8,000.

THE END

We finished at just after 4pm today in glorious sunshine. Just off to eat having driven back from John O'Groats to Inverness. James, Matt, Joe, Cathy and Clare will all do a post when they get time later today or tomorrow. For the moment, we are all very tired but very happy to have completed our epic ride.

Day 8 - Loch Linnhe To Tain (Snorkels Advised)

We are now ensconced in Creagh Dhu Guest House in Tain, having had what turned out to be one of our shorter days in terms of elapsed time (at least, judging by arrival time).

Our stay last night in Cuilcheanna House in Onich was perfect. The house is right at the head of the loch, so the tantalising approach was worth it, as we had views down the loch from our rooms (well, Clare and Matt did). The house was beautifully set up and the family running it were really accommodating and friendly. Supper was a little different to previous nights, as we were recommended a pub a short drive down the road, and it turned out to be attached to the local outdoor activity centre, and so was heaving with lots of active-looking people in full cheer. This made a difference from some of the quieter places we've eaten in previously.

Breakfast was a feast - with a wicked fruit and yoghurt mixture (a compote?) followed by cooked (Matt and James going for scrambled egg and smoked salmon). Unfortunately, time was pressing, and we had to head out into the rain en route for Tain. As we were leaving, Kirstie (or was it Mary?) pressed £20 into James's hand 'for the pot' - another unexpected and very welcome donation.

Today Cathy and Clare had plans too, as they were heading off to walk up Ben Nevis - so we were all aiming to leave smartish. The cyclists finally got on the road at 0845, with 112 miles in prospect - followed shortly by the girls in the car.

Unfortunately, the rain didn't let up, and as we headed up through Fort William, past Loch Lochy (yes, really) and towards the head of Loch Oich, it became torrential. We were all wearing over-the-knee shorts (James in full leggings) and heavier duty jackets but we were soon soaked. At one point the rain was so heavy that James had call an emergency stop as he couldn't see where he was going because it had run down behind his cycling glasses so hard that both eyes were full of water. However, salvation was to hand. We had already passed a posh looking hotel at Invergarry, but had surmised that three dripping cyclists would not be welcome. Matt advised that when in this situation before, he usually headed for the nearest McDonalds, as they have plastic seats. This was not to be an option. Salvation appeared in the form of the Thistle Cafe, where we had huge hot chocolates and two rounds each of cakes and scones (James choosing the treacle scones because they looked the most unhealthy). The proprietor reassured us that there would be eateries at Drumnadochit on Loch Ness - a good 30 miles further down track - "Because that's where the Nessie centre is".

A few miles down the road, James realised that he had a drinking problem. He'd already had to munch Ibuprofen while pedalling up the first hill (mustn't let the troops down by stopping), and had found that his left knee only stopped hurting if he cycled very smoothly. Smoothly meant not stopping/restarting and not moving the knee out of line while cycling. The problem was that to get the drink bottle out of the holder with his left hand, he needed to move his left knee out of line. Agony. Solution - use right hand. Yes, this what a degree education does for you. The problem was then that he now had reduced strength in his right hand due, probably to a compressed nerve or something from the last 8 days of cycling, so couldn't squeeze the bottle! Life gets complicated, sometimes. Sorry if this is James-centric, but he's writing this blog.

Luckily the rain soon stopped and we were treated to glimpses of the mountains around, and patches of sunshine lighting up the Caledonian Canal - which we crossed several times, over the still-active swing bridges. We finally arrived at Drumnadochit, and got food at the Nessie Pub (where else?). As we entered the pub, we got chatting to a local, Willie McKenzie, who donated £5 to the ride when he heard that we were raising money for H4H - which was really kind. He then asked where we were headed, and blurted out "Ah off to Beauly eh? You've got a bugger of a ... I meant there's a bit of a hill out of town going that way".

It was a bugger of a hill. 15% for 3/4 mile. We'd done 25% in Monmouthshire, but this was worse - especially straight after lunch. We all had to stop for a rest - James because he thought lunch was going to reappear, and Matt because he thought his lungs were going to explode! We finally made it to the top, and were treated with an even longer (i.e. less steep) downhill the other side. From then on the country rapidly changed from moorland and hills to farmland, and we were at the East coast of Scotland. We had traversed the country.

Due to the continued presence of the Cromarty Ferry at a boatyard in Southampton, we had to take the mile-long bridge across the Cromarty Firth, and then head up the A9. The A9 was very busy, and was to lead all the way to Tain. Luckily James, on checking the printed maps, spotted a cycle path (in fact Sustrans Cycle Trail Number 1) which took us through the forest - cutting the corner and obviating the need for the A9.

At this point, we were made aware of a logistical problem. Cathy and Clare were still en route, and were due to arrive at 1840 according to the car satnav. This gave us both a problem (no clean clothes) and a challenge - beat the girls to the B&B. At 1802 a quick mental calculation by James estimated (based on 15mph - i.e. a mile every 4 minutes) that we'd arrive between 1818 and 1820. It was to be 1818 and victory to the cyclists!

Interestingly, there now seems to be a thriving drugs trade in the team, as Cathy (the pharmacist) has run out, and is blagging pills off James. Still, most aches and pains were eased by a good meal tonight!

Tomorrow, it's the last day. Not sure about the team's feelings on this. On the one hand, it's a pity it's coming to an end. On the other, it's the end of a relentless 9 days of at least 8 hours in the saddle, finishing around 7pm each evening, with the need to be up at 0630 the next day.

Statistics For Day:

Miles covered: 108

Mountains climbed (by Cathy and Clare): 1

Monsters spotted: 0

Puddings/cakes eaten: too many

Day 7 - Largs To Loch Linnhe

The beautiful evening of Thursday gave way to a blustery, wet day in Largs this morning. We set off at 0810 in rain, with a stiff Southerly wind helping us along. We'd been well fed with a superb breakfast cooked by our hostess Holly - the daughter of the house (Broome House B&B in Largs) who was holding the fort with her brother while their parents were away. Their hospitality and helpfulness were brilliant - especially the pile of still-warm dry washing which was deposited in the breakfast room! Now would you leave your teenage (apologies to Holly and brother if you're older!) son and daughter to run your B&B?

We knew it was a short ride up to the ferry which would take us over to Dunoon. After we'd gone about 3 miles, Matt commented that we'd missed the next ferry, as we could see it heading out. James thought (and commented) that it looked like the Rothesay ferry and thought nothing more of it. We duly arrived at the ferry terminal, and went into the classic Victorian station-cum-ferry terminal to get tickets. As James arrived at the kiosk, he heard the lady behind the glass saying to Matt "But Rothesay is on Bute, which is an island, you can't just have a single."

James interjected "Very sorry about this, I've been trying to explain this to him already, I'll take him away quietly now." and we headed off to Gourock to find the right ferry. Matt professing that on his maps, there was only one ferry!

Having managed to catch the right (and a lot smaller) ferry, we headed out of Dunoon and into some proper Scottish countryside. This was not before James found that, as he started off up the ramp from the ferry, his left knee was agony whenever he pushed off on it. Cue a serious amount of ibuprofen - taken while Joe was re-stowing his glasses which had fallen out of his pocket and had been retrieved from the middle of the road by James.

We progressed North, alongside Loch Eck, over the hills (thankfully not very big) and alongside Loch Fyne. We then had to go all the way up to the head of the loch, and back down to Inverary - rather galling as we could see Inverary (our lunch destination) for about two and a half hours before we finally reached it! All the time the scenery and light were improving (it had stopped raining by this point).

In Inverary we had a rather large lunch in a great coffee shop, served by attractive Bulgarian waitresses. Joe had soup of the day (smoked ham and lentil) followed by Caesar salad. James and Matt had a delicious pasta dish (parmesan and pear parcels, with a walnut sauce). However, after finishing this, James caught Matt's eye and said "I need more". Our waitress was concerned when we asked for two helpings of soup of the day, asking "Was not enough?" "Not for me, I'm afraid. I've got 110 kilometres to ride after lunch!" replied James. "Ah, I see." she replied, backing away slowly.

A large lunch did not set us in good stead for the very long climb we then faced out of the town. A good 3 miles of it, but with the reward of an eye-watering descent to the shores of Loch Awe. From the top of the hill, we were presented with a view of the North-East end of the loch, with the mountains behind illuminated by patchy sunshine. Just enough time to utter "Yee-ha!" before approaching terminal velocity.

We again had to round the head of the loch, with the initial temptation of seeing our prospective exit from the loch from the opposite shore, but with 6 miles still to go! We headed off up the Northern arm of the loch, and stopped at the Cruachan hydro-electric power station visitor centre for James to get rid of some coffee. The girl behind the reception desk asked if we would like a free tour (normally charged for), as it was policy that anyone who arrived by bike or public transport got a free tour. James pointed out that unfortunately we didn't have time, as we were off to Loch Linnhe. At which point, she said "My God, you're mad - you'd better get going!".

Onward we pedalled, crossing the bridge at the Falls Of Lora - and watching the massive eddies and overfalls below as the tide rushed through the narrow gap below. Finally, we arrived at Loch Linnhe, with only 22 miles to go. These final tens of miles are the hardest, as we just want to get to the end - so it was a case of "heads down", and we put on some pace to get it over and done with. The final torture was being able to see the B&B, but knowing that we had a 7 mile ride round the bay and out onto the headland where it was situated!

So, another long day - around 117 miles ridden over relatively flat roads.

Off to Tain tomorrow - around the same distance as today, and probably in the rain. Joy.

It's now 2330, and I need to get some sleep, so any other reports will have to wait.

TEAMBLT LEJOG - Joe's musings

Hi everyone. If you have been following us then you will know we are at the end of day 7 of 9 of our Land's End John O'Groats epic. James has been providing a fantastic blow by blow account of each day's events. Here is a different take from me on the last seven days.

This LEJOG business is very very hard for me. Both physically and mentally very taxing. If all three of us ranked the fitness of the team members I would be third of the three. I have no excuses I am just a tad slower from time to time. Matt and I are 52 at the end of the month. James is 46. Apparently age does not make a big difference in cycling with 50 year olds often beating 40 year olds in races. What does seem to make a difference is attitude. PMA (positive mental attitude) can overcome lots of things. James has done a round the world yacht race and seems to have bags of PMA at all times. Matt is a member of a cycling club and has cycled with people who do LEJOG in five days! In a time trial he does 10 miles in 28 minutes and he thinks the Hampshire Hilly Hundred (100 miles around the steepest hills in Hampshire) is fun. My body thinks doing 10 miles on a bike in 33 minutes is very painful and my brain will not let me enter anything on a bike which is 100 miles long!

Each day of LEJOG my brain and my body play a game of anti-PMA. For a start, at breakfast my stomach tells my brain to stop eating so much food. Brain replies that we are going to need 8,000 calories and to stop complaining. We then get on the bike as soon as possible and before breakfast has been digested so stomach complains again. Before long, more calories are being consumed in the form of energy drink and energy bars. Stomach tells brain that snacking is bad but is once again over-ruled. This goes on all day. A big problem occurs at about 4.30 when we have done 80 miles. A good week's cycling for me this year has been 10 miles on a MTB on a Wednesday evening and 40 miles of a road bike on a Saturday morning. With Matt and sometimes James I have done three of our 80 mile rides but nothing longer until now.

So at 4.30 and 80 mile distance body says time to stop. Brain says that if we stop now then there will be major problems. No shower and no comfortable bed for a start. I am sure PMA would cure all this but when all your muscles are aching, your bum is sore, your stomach is churning PMA is difficult to find.

Anyway got to go now - we need to go and eat a big supper to put right the deficit between calories burnt and calories consumed so far today. Stomach be warned - we are going to have to stuff you to the limit!

Day 6 - Gretna To Largs Via Burnie Family History

Photos

Before we start with today's news, it's time we had some photos from the trip. I've finally managed to get some uploaded (last night, but then ran out of time and energy, so didn't manage to post them).

The Team About To Set Off

About to descend into the Welsh Marches - after a 25% climb.

Crossing the Mersea

Anyway, enough photos, on to today

We had a very early start because Cathy needed to leave at 0700 to meet up with friends at Troon. Therefore we had to get everything packed and ready by then, with all relevant kit loaded into the car. We did not want an 'oh bother (insert other word if appropriate)' moment on returning to our rooms to find a large bag which should have gone with Cathy. Hence we were all having delicious and nutritious breakfast - wearing our lycra and barefoot - in the hotel restaurant at 0700. There were a few bleary-eyed wedding guests who weren't quite sure what these three strange blokes were up to.

Departure And History

We got on the road at an unprecedented 0810, and made great progress for the first two hours. The route was flat, and the weather good! We had a detour to a village called Powfoot, just West of Annan (where many old clipper ships were built), so that Joe could show us his namesake's legacy. At the turn of the 20th century, Joe's great-grandfather Joseph returned to his birthplace of Powfoot, having made his fortune in Liverpool. He wanted to turn the village into a holiday destination and to this end had several terraces of red-bricked houses built, in striking contrast to the traditional whitewashed cottages of the area. Alas the venture did not bear fruit, but the red-bricked houses remain to this day. We spent a few minutes cycling around the village, before heading off on our way.

Up The Nith

From Powfoot we went along the coast, and then cut inland to Dumfries where we stocked up with baguettes in case there was no food available at our midpoint for the day - the town of Sanquhar. From Dumfries we followed the river Nith (causing great amusement to James, for whom it reminded him of the Monty Python sketch featuring "The Knights Who Say Ni(th)". Until Matt pointed out that it's pronounced "Neeth". Spoilsport. Matt amused himself and the others by managing to regurgitate entire lyrics from some Ian Dury's songs. Those to "Billericay

Dickie" were the most satisfying.

The countryside up the Nith valley was beautiful, especially in the bright sunshine. However, we were worrying about lunch already.

Lunch At Poppy's

Unfortunately, Sanquhar proved to be a bit of a dump, and we pressed on to Kirkconnel a couple of miles further on. Having passed two definitely non-inviting pubs, we found Poppy's Tea Room, which was perfect. We had a rather extended lunch consisting of paninis, soup, and pudding. Can never eat too much you know! We finally staggered off at 1410, ready to tackle the last 60 miles of the day. At this point in the day, 60 miles does seem a bit far!

Gentle Climbs, Dual Carriageways And Coastal Evening Arrival

The afternoon continued the relatively gentle climbing profile of the morning, and we arrived at Irvine around 1700. We decided to take the more direct option of skirting the town on the main road, rather than using the cycle track - the latter are often tricky to find, and slow to ride on. However, the 5 miles we spend on the dual carriageway were enough, and we turned coast-wards with relief. After Stevenson we hit the coast, and spent the rest of the ride next to the sea in glorious evening sunshine, with the islands looming out of the haze to the West. We finally arrived at Largs at 1845 - almost early for us after a day's ride of 118 miles.

Are We Holding Together?

This morning we were all feeling pretty tired. Our legs feel empty for the first couple of miles until we get up to speed, and then things are fine. James and Matt have sore bottoms - Matt's just bruised, but James suspects his is more than just bruising (time for more Sudocrem!). As an experiment, they tried wearing two pairs of shorts today. It seemed to help, but felt a bit like sitting on a pile of cushions - and Clare told Matt his bum looked big. James has also managed to get a blister on one of his hands, where the seam from a glove is rubbing - so things are definitely a bit less comfortable for him, overall!

Tomorrow, off to Loch Linnhie while the girls (Clare's now here) go off to Loch Fyne. All right for some!

Day 5 - Rules And Shap Pass

Left Or Right? There's A Rule For That

First a bit to say about our B&B last night. As we stood at the top of a very long, steep descent onto the A59 (having ground our way up to be presented with the grand view of the Ribble Valley) there was discussion between James and Matt as to whether we should turn right or left to find the B&B. Given that the maps showed it approximately 1/2 mile one side or the other, it was a crucial decision at this stage of the day. Finally, James had his way, and we decided to turn right. Matt hurtled off down the road, ending up way out in front of James and Joe. When the others arrived, they found a grinning Matt. James had been correct - the accommodation was indeed to the right of the turning. Right on the corner, so we didn't have to go any further.

Our greeting from 'mine host' was unusual, to say the least. "Turn your bike round so it doesn't mark the window." Not "Good evening, how was your trip?". And then the rules started. The late Glyn Charles once commented that Emsworth Sailing Club had no fewer than 51 signs dictating what should and should not be done. Well, Rose Cottage B&B beat this record easily. There were signs saying when we could and could not use the dining room, when we were allowed breakfast, what could be done with 'food in rooms' and so on. In fact, when James pulled back the covers on his bed, prepared to collapse gratefully into slumber, he commented that he half expected a sign to be there outlining what was and was not allowed in bed!

But we're mean - the accommodation was perfectly adequate, with a stonking breakfast this morning.

The Morning's Ride

Off we set into a misty but clearing morning, heading ever North and West via Garstang and Longridge. Matt commented that it was "Garstang 5", which James took to be the name of a 60's pop group he was reminiscing about. He turned out to be reading a road sign. Ribchester was very Roman - lots of museums etc., while James was confused as to why there were no derelict car plants in Longridge. Cathy put him right this evening- that was Longridge near Birmingham!

Lancaster turned out to be a very pretty university town, but we failed to find a coffee shop and pushed on to Kendal. The countryside continued to be really pretty, with gently rolling roads - no massive hills to be negotiated.

In need of morning tea, we stumbled upon the village shop in Nether Kellet, where we were soon engaged in conversation with the proprietor, Glyn. While munching on rolls, pork pies and flapjack and supping tea, we were regaled with the tales of cyclists who had given up at this very spot- but mainly because the weather was so bad (allegedly). As Matt was commenting on his painful knee, Glyn said "Here's the chap who can help - he's the local doctor". The aforementioned chap took a long range look at the joint and said "Hmm... looks like there's fluid on that." and walked off. Doctors - pah. Meanwhile Glyn's 5 year old grandson came wandering in with a toy bear which played Christmas Carols. Surely it's too early for Christmas Carols! Glyn was a great chap, and when he heard we were raising money for H4H, gave us a £10 donation, which was an unexpected benefit.

Lunch

Today we had lunch on time! We negotiated the A6 approaching Kendal, and then entered via a great country lane, winding through tiny villages. On entering a busy Kendal, we found a pub and Joe and James were soon(ish) munching on egg mayonnaise baguettes. Matt - being Matt - ordered onion rings and a tuna sandwich. Not to mention the little 'isotonic' half of bitter.

Shap Pass

This was all good fuel for the ascent of Shap - a 6 mile climb to the1400 foot summit of Shap Pass. Actually, while it was long, it was a pretty gentle climb and we were soon at the top, congratulating ourselves on our elite athlete status. In direct contrast to our overnight host's comments on the A6, we found the road to be really quiet, which was a pleasant surprise. (She also said "You'll never get to Gretna today- it's too far." Thanks a bunch.)

Joe and Matt headed off from the summit of Shap, leaving James arranging for his cycling leggings to come up to Largs with Clare (he's getting worried about the weather further North). Just as he was about to leave, a girl arrived in a car and asked if he'd like to be interviewed for the local press. Being the shy and retiring type, he said "Of course", and was then pumped for his opinion about a proposed camping barn to be constructed nearby. Watch upcoming editions of the Westmoreland Express for his picture and views!

Gretna

After another long day, we finally arrived at the Gretna Hall Hotel to find Cathy ensconced and at least two weddings taking place. Supper was had in the bar- yet more curry - while we watched the wedding party enjoying themselves around us. James commented that some of the young ladies looked like newly born foals trying to walk, as they tottered around on dangerously tall heels!

And Tomorrow?

Tomorrow we're off to Largs! Only 118 miles. Will our backsides hold out?

Day 4 - Alison Saves The Day

Shopping Orders

Foolishly, Cathy asked the team if they needed anything from the shops today. James asked for a new battery for his bike computer (he's riding without instrumentation at the moment), while Matt asked for prunes. Therefore tomorrow hopefully James will know how far he's gone, while Matt will have gone!

Beautiful Border country

Initial progress was fast, as we seemed to dip in and out of Wales - evidenced by the high incidence of dyslexic sign-writers. The scenery was fantastic and the pace quite fast. Unfortunately, James had to call a drug stop early in the ride as his left knee was starting to hurt. A quick Ibuprofen was popped, which didn't seem to do a lot - so he adopted the approach of telling himself to just man up and get on with it, and telling the pain to take itself elsewhere. It retreated a bit, ending up sulking in the corner, only to reappear on and off during the day.

Morning coffee was had at a Shire Horse centre - though James caused some consternation by pointing to the Shetland pony grazing next to the cafe and asking for his money back under the trades descriptions act. We then stopped for a very nice lunch - BLT sandwiches for at least two of team BLT - at the Delamere Station Cafe. What was nicer was that Cathy managed to join us. Actually surprising, as she'd gone off for a walk in the Delamere forest park, wandered off the track and got thoroughly lost!

As we progressed towards Runcorn, we were amazed by the beauty of the Cheshire countryside - very rich greens and gently rolling hills. Matt kept getting excited by the fact that we were near 'WAG country'. Something to do with football, apparently.

Runcorn And The Mersey

Our major challenge was to traverse Runcorn and find the Mersey Bridge. This proved problematic, as although there were cycle routes marked, they didn't really indicate where they were going. We stopped a nice lady on a bike who immediately uttered those dread words to anyone who asks for directions (apart from "If I were going there, I wouldn't start from here" of course) which were "Right, turn round...". Alison turned out to be brilliant. She pointed out that were were heading for one of the 'less nice' areas of Runcorn, said we could follow her and she'd show us the first stages of the way. Thanks to her directions, we finally managed to cross the Mersey on what turned out to be, on closer inspection, a rather rusty bridge.

Thunder, Lightning And Screaming Girls

As we crossed the river, the black clouds which had been following us turned into a full-fledged thunderstorm, with matching rain. Thus it was that as we passed one of the local schools in St. Helens we were treated to a mass girly screaming from the outpouring pupils as lightning flashed around us. By now we were fully wet and cold, and - yet again - sort of just wanting to get to the end of the day.

It took quite some time to get through the built up area. Cycling in traffic is always a challenge, it's usually a matter of being assertive (Joe was worried with James's description of 'combative' cycling) and making sure that the drivers know that you're going there! However, we finally were out of the conurbation and en route for the Ribble Valley.

Finally, after only one unintended detour, we crested a long, steep hill to be presented with a panorama of the Ribble Valley bathed in a thunderstorm-cleared evening light. An even longer and steeper descent brought us to Rose Cottage B&B not a moment too soon.

Off to Gretna and Scotland tomorrow!

Daily Statistics:

Miles ridden: 95 miles

Thunderstorms endured: 1

Bridges Crossed: 1

Counties Crossed: No idea.

Day 3 - The Baron Saves The Day

Why No Blog?

Sorry for the delay - no reliable internet connection was available in Oswestry.

The Best B&B By Far

Our late arrival at Parkways at St. Arvans last night was tempered by the amazing hospitality we received from Elizabeth and Ron. No sooner had we arrived than Ron had his hose out ready for us to wash the bikes off, while Elizabeth was phoning the pub to check the closing time for the kitchen. Bad news - 8pm, so we had to hoof it over there for what turned out to be a very nice meal. Curry yet again for James, keeping that carbohydrate intake up! Meanwhile, Elizabeth had offered to do a wash for us, so lots of smelly lycra was dispatched machine-wards.

Breakfast was 0730 - in fact, any time we wanted it. James tried to call Ron's bluff by asking for an 0530 sitting, but Ron raised with a counter-offer of 0500. Victory to Ron, and 0730 it was.

On departure, we tried to give Elizabeth and Ron a £10 tip, but they refused and insisted it should go to H4H instead.

Up The Chepstow Valley And Beyond

The Chepstow valley was - as predicted - very impressive. Unfortunately, we couldn't make use of any of Andrew Blake's newly (maybe even for us) constructed view points, as time pressed on. Andrew is a friend of James, and is the local Area Of Outstanding Natural Beauty manager.

At the top of the valley, we continued up the Golden Valley, stopping off at The Mill for morning coffee. As we chatted to the staff there, they said that they would 'shout' us the coffee and cakes - so another £10 (which it would have costed us) is due to be added to the fund. Thanks girls!

Short Steep Cuts

Matt had a cunning plan to shorten the day (this being the longest day of the trip with 128 miles plotted), by going East at Dorston to a newly-discovered bridge, over a hill into the next valley, and rejoining the route having saved around 5 miles. Joe pointed out that the hill had two arrows on it on his OS map - indicating 'very steep'. Yes, 25%. Very similar to Cardiac Hill at Stoughton for those who know it. However, the view on the other side was spectacular - the Welsh Marches extending across in front of us in verdant shades of green. Matt was desperate to visit Arthur's Stone (a rock? who knows), but we dissuaded him.

When Are We Having Lunch, Dad?

Now things got interesting. We'd forgone the opportunity to eat in Dorston, as it was 'too early'. We were now presented with two problems:

• Few villages and hamlets we were going through had no pubs
• The few pubs there were, were closed.

Village after village, pub after pub. The troops were getting hypoglycaemic (and couldn't even spell it). Finally, at Linge we found a pub which was shut but - praise the Lord - the church was open for "Quiet contemplation with DIY refreshments." We all spotted this, and decided we needed to commune with the Lord and eat His biscuits. Having snaffled the church biscuits, topped up with (non-holy) water and left a donation, we set off with low expectations of ever eating again. Finally, James and Matt spotted the fabled 'crossed knife and fork of rescue' on a tourist sign, and we arrived at the Beef Baron pub in Bicknell. Hearty sandwiches and a (medicinal) Guinness for Matt followed, and we were finally able to continue.

Not Today, Colin

We had hoped to visit Colin Lloyd - a friend/customer of James's - who lives just West of Shrewsbury. However, our ETA at Oswestry was already around 1830, so James decided to call ahead to cancel, thus saving 1/2 hour of socialising and another 5 miles of detour. A pity as it would have been nice to call in.

James's Favourite Shop

We were now approaching familiar territory for those lucky people who have made the trip to Pwllheli in North West Wales for sailing events. The route goes via Telford and Shrewsbury, up towards Oswestry before turning off at a village called Knockin. Knocking has a shop which is - of course - called the Knockin shop. So Matt and Joe were informed of this interesting fact as the day progressed. They are wondering why they ever asked James along.

The Weather

Having had a forecast of gales, wind and (given half a chance) plagues of locusts, we actually had great weather for most of the day - bright sunshine and strong winds from behind. However, from around 10 miles SW of Shrewsury it started to rain, and we were soon just wanting to arrive. Around 1700 it really started raining and we started getting seriously wet! Morale slumped a bit when we got within 2 miles of destination to find that Matt's GPS was lying and it was actually 5 miles in the driving rain (and dusk). Then Joe got a puncture 1 mile out. We finally arrived at 1930 - glad to put a stop to things for the day.

Overall Feeling

A long day, but fantastic scenery along the way!

Statistics

Money raised: £20

Distance covered: 121 miles

Saddlebags dropped: 1 (from Matt's bike)

Day 2 - A Tale Of 5 Counties And 2 Countries

Today was quite tough, and things did not augure well this morning, as we sorted out the bikes in the spitting rain. Matt and Joe put jackets on, while James held out, as he didn't want the faff of getting hot and then having to sort out stowage again (his jacket is too big to go in a pocket, so is being kept on his crossbar). The other slight hiccup was that the B&B didn't do breakfast before 0800, so we hit the road at 0900, which is a bit late really.

Luckily the rain eased off fairly quickly, but not before we'd got soaked feet and backsides (a side-effect of riding road bikes with no mudguards). However, the route took us down a lot of narrow, up/down/up/down lanes which were quite sapping. The good news according to route-meister Matt was that these were taking us on the most direct line!

We reached Taunton - at 55 miles - around 1300, and started the hunt for a lunch venue. After considering and rejecting one very busy pub, we had the genius idea of going to the local garden centre (which was on the route), where they had a 5 star restaurant. Don't get too excited - 5 stars for food hygiene, and we don't know if it's out of 10! However, having wheeled (James wanted to ride, but was told to behave by the others) the bikes through the centre, we tucked into a very nice pasta bake followed by eclaires and bananas. After a bottle refill from the very friendly staff we were off.

Oh yes, just before lunch, we nearly had a full-on Tour De France wipeout as a group of local racing cyclists pulled out in front of us as we reached the bottom of a hill (doing around 30mph), and promptly (tried to) turn right. A near thing, but no-one came off, luckily. Not sure what they were thinking! This was followed by James's first puncture (in fact the first at all with his road bike - the tube was welded to the inside of the tyre, it had been in so long).

After Taunton it was North to the Somerset Levels, over a tiny hill (apparently the Quantocks, we think - but this map sheet's disintegrated in the rain) then more Levels, past Cheddar Gorge and past Bristol, over the Severn Bridge (old one) and up to Chepstow. A long day, arriving at 1930 to find that the pub stopped cooking at 2000 so all a bit of a rush.

Daily statistics

Miles ridden: 128 (despite Matt saying it was 121)

Calories expended: 7,500

Calories consumed: lots!

Tractors overtaken: 1

Punctures: 1

Near wipeouts: 1

Counties: Devon, South Somerset, North Somerset, Avon (that's a county isn't it?) Monmouthshire

Countries: England, Wales

Strangest sign: "Blogg's Garage"

Wives Worried: 1 (Helen noting that the GPS tracker stopped right outside Chepstow hospital, calling James and finding his phone being answered by Matt).

Plan For Tomorrow

Up earlier and start the Sudocrem treatment!

Day 1 - Gentlemen Don't Go To Windward

Having gone to the sound of wind rattling the halyards on the boats in the harbour, we awoke to a continuing Easterly wind - not good when one is riding from Land's End. Given the location of Land's End, there is only one way to go, of course - you've guessed it, East. And as all sailors know, Gentlemen Don't Go To Windward.

Unfortunately, we had no choice, of course.

Land's End was revealed as a rather dreary place (it was James's first visit, so he had no previous experience), which was - erm - closed. On arrival at 0800, we found that absolutely nothing was open - including the toilets (which was important to some of the team). As we were setting up , two Thrifty vans turned up, loaded to the gunwhales with bikes. The occupants introduced themselves, and revealed that they were off on a 14 day LEJOG - with their first stop in Camelford. Lightweights.

As we cycled down to the famous sign, it started to rain. Great. A couple of photos by Cathy, and then it came to the point that we really just had to get cycling. For the first mile of so, James found it hard to get a rhythm, but we soon settled in.

We had a rendezvous arranged with Joe's cousin Tom, at a cafe called the Jam Pot in Gwithian. A nice cup of coffee and rock cakes followed, and then we were off again. But not before Jess had taken a photo of us with our 'Hate Jams' shirt backs, next to the Jam Pot Cafe.

We made good progress, and on passing Newquay stopped for a quick drink and munch break. Joe looked down and found a wallet in the hedgerow. Luckily it had a name and address in it, and we gave its owner, Squadron Leader Thomas (Retired), a call. On saying that we were heading East from Newquay to Okehampton, he said we were passing his house so we could drop it in, and did we prefer red or white wine! Seeing as we were cycling (and I hadn't brought my Camelpak), we declined the wine, but he did give us £10 which will be added to the sponsorship!

He turned out to be in his 80s, and was delighted that his RAFA card was still in the wallet

After a good lunch (sardines for Matt and James, bangers and mash for Joe), off we set for Camelford. Here occurred the first - self-inflicted - damage of the trip when Joe decided to bunnyhop onto the kerb to avoid the traffic. Of course, not being on a mountain bike, he ended up with a snakebite puncture. Still, we did get to meet 13 year old Ainsley Martin, who engaged us in conversation as we were fixing it. Just before we left, he commented that "I've heard some people have GPSs on their bikes - tch!". Hasty covering up of ours!

After this, the sun came out, and we were treated to lovely views - and we finally stopped seeing signs for Redruth!

The rest of the afternoon consisted of a cream tea, and a series of loooong steep hills which started sapping our reserves, but we finally arrived at Okehampton at 1810, after 108 miles and (according to Matt's GPS) 7300 calories burnt.

Anyway, I'm afraid everyone else is standing up and walking out as I type, as they (we) want to eat ASAP!

So... in summary:

Miles: 108

Calories: 7300

Good Turns Done: 1

Self Inflicted Damage: 1

Wierd Signs: 1 ("Painter And Decorator And Funeral Director" interesting cross-marketing opportunities).

That's all folks until tomorrow!

Poised Like Tightly Coiled... Pieces Of String

No They Have Not Been Relaxing
The team is now gathered in Flushing, Cornwall, ready to tackle the challenge. My comment that my colleagues were well rested while I was slaving away was misplaced, it appears. Joe has been running around Cornwall, fitting out a flat, visiting elderly relatives, eating out every night (and professing to only want to eat in), and being 'busy'.

Matt has been cruising the Balaerics and visiting roly-poly anchorages (which, for the non-sailors means no sleep). Coupled with an annoying squeak in the boat which only materialised at night, he has arrived sleep-deprived. The squeak only at the moment when he was dropping off to sleep. There was the 'squeak, squeak' from somewhere. Much hunting narrowed the location down to an ill-fitting joint in the aft cabin. Out came the hacksaw to 'relieve the stress' on the joint. Back to bed, problem solved. Squeak, squeak. And so the week progressed. A vandalised boat which still squeaked. Coupled with a photo-shoot for Elinda (the beautiful 74' boat he'd been managing the refit for) and a slightly erratic Greek crew, he was not that rested when he arrived at home at 0300 today.

Arrivals
Matt and I came down by train from Emsworth to Truro via Havant, Guildford and Reading. From Reading, the train was completely full and we only got seats by being imaginitive with the 'reserved' signs on the free seats - assuming that labels saying 'Paddington To Penzance' on empty seats meant a no-show which we could snaffle.

Coincidences And People In Strange Places
Coincidence 1
Amazingly, we start of quite well on this front. I bought a copy of New Scientist to read on the train - on the assumption that it impresses people when they see me reading it instead of The Sun. I was happily reading a very interesting article on research indicating that water at 6000 degrees centigrade and high pressure becomes ionic and thus conductive - leading to the moons of Jupiter (or was it Saturn) having a different magnetic field to the Earth. As I was perusing this, I noticed that it was sourced from a professor Jeremy Bloxham of Harvard. Only the Jeremy Bloxham who grew up in Emsworth (and Anne Lawson's brother)!

Coincidence 2
Being the noble sort of chaps we are, Matt and I offered our seats to an elderly lady who joined the train in Exeter. On chatting to her, it turned out that she lives just north of Wellington in New Zealand, and knows Clive Cameron who worked with Helen while on a practice swap. He hails from Waikani, where she ran the local pharmacy. Oh, the stories of their 6 (yes, six) boys we recounted.

Sponsorship!
We have our first commercial sponsor! As we arrived at the house, Joe was greeted by friend Mandy Owens proffering a tube of special cream for those sore muscles. So now we have our own tube of Joint Easy rosemary, ginger & frankincense balm- 100% organic. All provided by Inlight Organic Skin Care!

Real-Time Position Updates
I spent most of the journey setting up a link to GPS Location. This website will take a feed from my mobile phone, with our position updated approximately every minute. That is, if the battery does not run down or the phone does not burn a hole in my pocket (have you felt how hot a smartphone gets when processing GPS updates and uploading to a website?). To watch our progress, log in to the above site with username of jameslavery and password of jamesgps2010, and select the live tab. Pick Track 1, and it should show where we are. If we seem to be at a standstill, then there's probably a pub in the vicinity.

The Plan For Tomorrow
Up at 0530, breakfast, on road for 0700, arrive Land's End 0800, off by 0830 in our new Team Marmite shirts - watch this space for the photo!

Addendum - A Statement From Matt And James

We may be sharing a hotel room, but we love our wives dearly. We will be issuing no further statements.

The Day Before Heading West

The Last Day At Work While Others Holiday
A manic day at work, getting everything as ready as possible before leaving for a week - we all know what that's like. Of course, those from the office know even more what the last week's been like - very busy, to say the least.

My mood wasn't particularly helped by the text I got from Matt at around 5pm, saying "Sitting in a bar on the beach, waiting for the car to the airport." Yes, Matt's had the last week off, while I've been slaving away. Actually, Joe's been off too - so I'm going to be turning up knackered, while they're sleekly rested athletes. Or something like that, I'm sure.

A bit worried about the lack of preparation - haven't ridden for two weeks, since the 80 mile training ride to Dummer.

Final Preparations
Still, being at work provided a good opportunity to print off the entire route at 1:50,000 scale. Quite impressive and frightening. Each day is between 9 and 13 sheets of A4. Very interesting to see the detail of where we're going, and the different terrain - and, of course, the location of those PH symbols for a little light refreshment.

It's interesting the effect such a stack of maps has on some people. Tom muttered, "How sad". Jess said "Oh great - let's play 110 sheet pickup!", but then revealed her numerically obsessive self by settling down to number all the sheets to mitigate the effect of a 110 sheet pickup. Things were slowed down by her need to make sure each pair of adjacent sheets actually married up. And writing "woop woop half way" on the appropriate sheet. And drawing Nessy (sic) on Loch Ness.

Catching the train tomorrow morning, at the leisurely time of 1026 from Emsworth - joined by my tanned compatriot. More to come, hopefully in the next few days.